Hi Everyone, Happy Saturday! Time for some laughs and relaxation. Speaking of relaxing, I think you'll get a good laugh out of this Lazy Song by Bruno Mars. Yes, I had to add a Tosh.O, I know, your probably tired of me doing that, but it's my blog (ha,ha) and I love his sense of humor for some reason! Get ready for more to come too cause a whole new season of his show starts this Tuesday night!! Have a great weekend:)
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)
Showing posts with label laughs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label laughs. Show all posts
Busted On Google
Hi Everyone, Happy Saturday, Here a few things I have come across either on the internet or Facebook. I hope you have a few laughs for yourselves! Most of all though, I hope you have a great weekend :)
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)
Google Proves Humanity Is Sick and Sad, Yet Absolutely Hilarious!
According to Google's search, 303,000 people out there were "extremely terrified of Chinese people". We got deeper into Humanity's brain, and got a list of hilarious and scary findings:
• 5,310,000 pages from people asking or answering: How to get pregnant.
• 69,400,000 people asking How to make money.
• 32,600,000: How to get over someone.
• 3,290,000: Who do I have to be to make you sleep with me.
• 841,000: I have a large cat in my pants.
• 3,300,000: I have a large uterus.
• 112,000: I have a lovely bunch of coconuts (lots of swallows surfing the web).
• 256,000,000: I want to die.
• 3,160,000: Why do I fart so much.
• 528,000: Why do indians smell.
• 63,500,000: Why do I sleep so much.
• 680,000: Why do I have green poop.
• 883,000,000: Why do I have no friends.
• 7,570,000: Why do I have diarrhea.
• 4,170,000: Why do I have so much discharge.
• 7,120,000: Why do I have to pee so much.
• 230,000,000: Why do I have gas or so much gas.
• 456,000: Why do men have nipples.
• 6,000,000: Why men don't call.
• 8,380,000: Why men lie.
• 11,000,000: Why women have affairs.
• 36,500,000: Why women lie.
• 94,200,000: Why Obama should be president.
• 19,100,000: Why Obama should not be president.
• 42,300: Why Luke Skywalker is an idiot.
• 1,610,000: I would like to buy a hamburger.
• 286,000: I would like to extend you an invitation to the pants party (at Jason's house, in Jason's pants).
• 818,000: I think im pregnant.
• 442,000: I hate Indiana Jones 4.
• Almost 800,000,000: Who do I vote for.
• 4,980,000: I want a new drug.
• 114,000,000: I want a wife (114 million people are nuts).
• 783,000: I have one testicle.
• 21,900,000: I have one more drink.
• 12,400,000: I have three breasts.
• 320,000: I have three testicles.
• 1,580,000: I have three girlfriends.
• 610,000: I have four sides, all opposite sides are parallel, I have no right angles. What am I.
• 159,000,000: When to work.
• 126,000,000: When to say I love you.
• 2,730,000: Sleep is for sissies.
• 2,890,000: I smeel like poop.
• 1,510,000: What is a recession.
• 1,400,000: I have a hard time swallowing.
• 338,000: I have a big bag of crabs here.
• 1,060,000: Sex is for making babies and revenge.
How to Achieve Inner Peace
Here's some advice from a top psychologist:
Dr. Neil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Pinot Noir, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kaluha, a packet of Penguins, the remainder of bottle of Prozac, Valium prescriptions, the rest of the Cheesecake, and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how good I feel!
(If this is real I'm jealous,LOL!)
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)
Google Proves Humanity Is Sick and Sad, Yet Absolutely Hilarious!
According to Google's search, 303,000 people out there were "extremely terrified of Chinese people". We got deeper into Humanity's brain, and got a list of hilarious and scary findings:
• 5,310,000 pages from people asking or answering: How to get pregnant.
• 69,400,000 people asking How to make money.
• 32,600,000: How to get over someone.
• 3,290,000: Who do I have to be to make you sleep with me.
• 841,000: I have a large cat in my pants.
• 3,300,000: I have a large uterus.
• 112,000: I have a lovely bunch of coconuts (lots of swallows surfing the web).
• 256,000,000: I want to die.
• 3,160,000: Why do I fart so much.
• 528,000: Why do indians smell.
• 63,500,000: Why do I sleep so much.
• 680,000: Why do I have green poop.
• 883,000,000: Why do I have no friends.
• 7,570,000: Why do I have diarrhea.
• 4,170,000: Why do I have so much discharge.
• 7,120,000: Why do I have to pee so much.
• 230,000,000: Why do I have gas or so much gas.
• 456,000: Why do men have nipples.
• 6,000,000: Why men don't call.
• 8,380,000: Why men lie.
• 11,000,000: Why women have affairs.
• 36,500,000: Why women lie.
• 94,200,000: Why Obama should be president.
• 19,100,000: Why Obama should not be president.
• 42,300: Why Luke Skywalker is an idiot.
• 1,610,000: I would like to buy a hamburger.
• 286,000: I would like to extend you an invitation to the pants party (at Jason's house, in Jason's pants).
• 818,000: I think im pregnant.
• 442,000: I hate Indiana Jones 4.
• Almost 800,000,000: Who do I vote for.
• 4,980,000: I want a new drug.
• 114,000,000: I want a wife (114 million people are nuts).
• 783,000: I have one testicle.
• 21,900,000: I have one more drink.
• 12,400,000: I have three breasts.
• 320,000: I have three testicles.
• 1,580,000: I have three girlfriends.
• 610,000: I have four sides, all opposite sides are parallel, I have no right angles. What am I.
• 159,000,000: When to work.
• 126,000,000: When to say I love you.
• 2,730,000: Sleep is for sissies.
• 2,890,000: I smeel like poop.
• 1,510,000: What is a recession.
• 1,400,000: I have a hard time swallowing.
• 338,000: I have a big bag of crabs here.
• 1,060,000: Sex is for making babies and revenge.
How to Achieve Inner Peace
Here's some advice from a top psychologist:
Dr. Neil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Pinot Noir, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kaluha, a packet of Penguins, the remainder of bottle of Prozac, Valium prescriptions, the rest of the Cheesecake, and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how good I feel!
(If this is real I'm jealous,LOL!)
Friday Funnies
Hi Everyone, I felt like goofing off today as usual, and having a couple of laughs, so if your feeling like me, I know you will enjoy these. You have got to at least watch the classic Delicious Dish, even if you have seen it before, it will still make you laugh!! Sorry if you get an ad, I don't know how to get rid of them, if you do let me know :)
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Happy Friday,
Janet :)
For a devoted drinker!
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Happy Friday,
Janet :)
For a devoted drinker!
Thank You
Hi Everyone, How are ya, I'm great. I picked out a couple of funny clips of my favorite shows to share a laugh with you this weekend. That's what weekends are for right, laughing, relaxing, being with the one you love. Yesterday Pete and I went to Martha's Vineyard and had a great time. We've always been able to laugh together. We were cracking up as we traveled around on our scooter, all I could think of was Dumb and Dumber, yup that was us LOL! We got jokingly excited when we would go downhill on the scooter, ya now that's wild let me tell ya!! The best part of the day came at the end, when we rode the boat back home. We held hands the whole time and he kept his arm around me as I rested on his shoulder. I can't put into words how beautiful every second felt. And to add to the best part of the day, as we drove home and the radio came back on,this song was on. We spoke these words to each other. It is true that you will reap the rewards when you turn your life around. Life is still wonderful sober my friends, in fact I think it is better than wonderful.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya's,
Janet :)
Jerry & Larry can't get
rid of this girl until..
Turtle is too cute!
Thank You Pete :)
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya's,
Janet :)
Jerry & Larry can't get
rid of this girl until..
Turtle is too cute!
Thank You Pete :)
Disturbed Edited
P.S. I wrote this post yesterday before going to work. When I got to work wouldn't you know it, but my first return was a Turkey brought in from a cart in the parking lot. After searching for a code to defect it, I realized we don't even sell Turkey's!! So yesterday I was disturbed in more ways than one LOL!. I think I am going to get a lot of funny stuff from working there to post here :)
Hi Everyone,
I hope you are doing well. I am doing good but I am so upset that Martha Coakley did not win the senate seat!! I was shocked. Time will tell if a major mistake was made. Some day's it hurts that at this point in my life I thought I would be in a different place professionally after working so hard in my 30's to get my Bachelors degree while raising my kids and running a day care. I was not able to go right to college from high school because of money. I don't like to be dependent on anyone. Especially if something happened to Pete I thought for sure I could take care of myself and my kids. My Dad has been gone since I was 23 and I felt I would have no one to turn to for help. But circumstances in life have kept me from pursuing what I really wanted for myself. But I have learned that regret is a wasted emotion and what is meant to be, is meant to be. So today I am surprised to find myself enjoying working in retail. I am making less money than ever, but it gets me out of these 4 walls. I also find myself having so much fun with my co workers and the public. People often tell us that they can tell it is a new store because everyone is happy and laughing together. But that is not the real reason, we just all click. Most of all I love to make people laugh, get a rise out of them and I get that opportunity quite often working at guest services and photo, for example last night, I had a tall handsome guy returning a women's bathing suit so with a serious face I asked him "Did it not fit right". When we both started laughing he said I knew you were gonna say that. I guess he could see my horns:) Sometimes the children are so adorable, sometimes they are screaming and you can't wait for them to leave! My sister loves Target and lives in Hanover so I see her more often and when she is done shopping she always comes and tells me where the good deals are. Her and my mom could shop until they dropped but not me, I just like to get what I need and get out. So I appreciate her doing all the foot work for me. It is the largest Target in Ma. My co worker Andy is about seventy and he loves to flirt. And who doesn't love a dirty older man, and when I see him he always makes my day! Even though their are people who can be so frustrating, the good out way's the bad. So I also have a sense of gratitude for where I am even though it is not what I wanted for myself. I have to be humble and realize I could be in a much worse place. Feeling this way keeps me positive and makes me want to keep working to better myself no matter what the circumstances are. The picture I posted above is blurry but you can tell it is a group of Turkey's. They have been coming around my house more and more and it is starting to freak me out. First we counted 12 of them now it is up to 14. One day when I got home and got out of my car they all just stopped and looked at me the same way, so creepy. Yet my hubby wants to feed them, I was like are you insane! Anyway if the group gets big enough I guess I can have a great Thanksgiving this year! Note to Kimmy, you got to laugh out loud on me today on facebook about the election, so cut me some slack here! Pretty soon in order to stay your friend without being a source of amusement for you, I will have to move out of state because of all our circumstances here LOL!
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Take Care,
Janet :)
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