Reader Question: "I could really relate to your post about choosing your friends and cleaning house. I attempted to do that earlier this year but my friend confronted me and said I changed. How do I deal with people that think I am better than them, or say I have changed just because I want more for myself"
Truth is, if they are still stuck in a motionless state of being, it isn't in their best interest for you to become a better person. You're playing small benefits the attention-craved friend that always has to have the limelight, your depression benefits the insecure friend that never wants to see another happy. - So what happens next? You have to realize that everyone has their run in with reality when they're ready. Ideally, it would be nice for friends to grow and better themselves at the same time, but that isn't always the way it happens. Don't let the emotional blackmail keep you in a situation that isn't healthy or beneficial towards the end goal of total mind, body and emotional wellness.
For whatever reason we sometimes outgrow friends we thought were there for life. Maybe they were there to show us a reflection of ourselves, maybe they helped us through some bad times. However as we grow, mature, learn, evolve and seek a deeper understanding of ourselves; our needs and our value systems tend to change. You shouldn't feel bad for that. One of the hardest things to do is to detach emotionally, but in order for us to move on without beating ourselves up in the process; it is necessary. - There were many times I kept my "friendships" going because I didn't want to abandon them, but I began to lose myself in the co-dependent relationship. You don't have to wait until they commit a cardinal sin to give you a legitimate reason to walk away; you know you can no longer stay when you begin to resent the friendship, or it leaves you feeling drained.
One thing I wished I would have known a lot earlier in life is that it is ok to move on. We all have a right to act in accordance to our inner guidance system [which in essence never steers us wrong], and we shouldn't allow outside opinions and chatter divert us away from what our core knows is right. Untangle yourself from feelings of guilt, detach from your need to be understood by these old acquaintances and empower yourself with the permission to walk away.
For whatever reason we sometimes outgrow friends we thought were there for life. Maybe they were there to show us a reflection of ourselves, maybe they helped us through some bad times. However as we grow, mature, learn, evolve and seek a deeper understanding of ourselves; our needs and our value systems tend to change. You shouldn't feel bad for that. One of the hardest things to do is to detach emotionally, but in order for us to move on without beating ourselves up in the process; it is necessary. - There were many times I kept my "friendships" going because I didn't want to abandon them, but I began to lose myself in the co-dependent relationship. You don't have to wait until they commit a cardinal sin to give you a legitimate reason to walk away; you know you can no longer stay when you begin to resent the friendship, or it leaves you feeling drained.
One thing I wished I would have known a lot earlier in life is that it is ok to move on. We all have a right to act in accordance to our inner guidance system [which in essence never steers us wrong], and we shouldn't allow outside opinions and chatter divert us away from what our core knows is right. Untangle yourself from feelings of guilt, detach from your need to be understood by these old acquaintances and empower yourself with the permission to walk away.
